There is a famous saying by Eleanor Roosevelt ,"Great minds discuss ideas.Average minds discuss events and Small minds discuss people."
This is a usual quality of people to keep discussing about something to pass time.This pass time, keeps changing its directions and topic of discussion and finally its concluded by back biting.
This is done only to make ourselves feel satisfied, proud, happy and better than someone whom we are discussing about.But, we usually forget that this ultimate goal is reached only because of a negative thought or feeling about others. That is nothing but JEALOUSY.
Yes, people do discuss about others, in their absence only when they can't convey their thoughts or feelings directly to them. This may be due to fear or just because they don't want to hurt them. But, most of the times, its due to jealousy. And people keep gossiping about others only because they feel jealous of them.So, this gossip ultimately ends up in back biting which becomes a habit.This should always be avoided as this a very bad addiction which takes a lot of time to leave or stop.
Some people usually gossip about others for entertainment sake.But, they forget that they too may fall prey to it someday and lose their self - esteem.Today, a group is discussing about some 'X', and you are enjoying that gossip, simply because its about someone else and some day the same group may start gossiping about you and you may feel humiliated.
So, its better to avoid such discussions and there is no use of discussing about someone for entertainment sake.One can refrain from the habit of back biting by following some tips which are discussed here.
The first thing to remember is, never to keep the brain idle. Use your brain for something meaningful and fruitful ideas.This automatically allows you to use your time judiciously.
An idle man's brain is a devil's workshop. This is not only for men,but for women as well.Especially women who stay at home and have lot of free time, once their husbands and children move out to schools and offices in the morning.These women spend all their afternoon time, only discussing and gossiping with neighbours or relatives.
Its better, if they avail such time for learning something new or gaining knowledge through books or internet instead of gossiping.
Stay away from places of gossip.If someone is inviting you simply because they have free time, and are not using it for any productive work, simply avoid such people.They invite you only for discussing about others though it starts with "what do you do in your free time" and "I keep chatting with my neighbour, you can even join us .etc.
This will definitely end up with some other person as target and this is of no use.
One should always keep it in mind that no one is perfect in this world and we are not perfectionists to gossip on others.Its better to spend time in correcting our mistakes than wasting it on back biting.
Backbiters never have true friends.Everyone fears of backbiters and such people usually speak to everyone, as though they are very outspoken and honest. But, the fact is, they never have good bonds with anyone.
If possible change the topic, whenever you feel there is gossip about others. You fail to do so, its better to leave the place or avoid such people than to continue listening to them.
One should never comment on others in their absence, unless they are sure about them.Its better to bite your tongue instead of back biting others.